August 5, 2022

This past week, someone in Illinois won the $1.337 billion Mega Millions jackpot.

In the vast majority of states, lottery winners' names are public record by law. However, the Illinois Lottery allows winners of prizes over $250,000 to maintain anonymity.

Which means we may never know who won! That said, we've crunched the numbers and we're 97% sure the winner subscribes to IQNEWS. If you're out there, reply with "🤑"

As always, please forward IQNEWS to a friend if you're a fan!

📣

STORY OF THE WEEK

Extinction would stink (+ might happen)

image: lifehopeandtruth

A recent climate study reinforced what we largely already knew: Earth is in trouble.

Kunio Kaiho, a climate scientist at Tohoku University in Japan and the lead author of the study, identified a disturbing linear link between climate shifts and mass extinction events. Essentially, the bigger the temp swing (up or down), the larger the extinction.

So where do we stand with current climate change forecasts? Worst case, Kaiho thinks climate change can generate a 16°F increase in just a few hundred years. This is much more imminent than previous scientific doomsday predictions, and would be enough to trigger a sixth mass extinction.

Given the extinction that offed the dinosaurs occurred over the course of 60,000 years, a few hundred years is a terrifyingly short period of time!

A microscopic silver lining? Predicted temperature increases are lower than other mass extinction temp swings, meaning species die-off would likely not be quite as extensive as the previous “big five” events. Comforting, right?!

Bottom line: we need big systematic changes and we need them fast.

📖

IN OTHER NEWS

Paper battery, odd holes, shortest day...

image: electronicproducts

Invention

Scientists have invented a disposable battery made of paper. The battery, which can be activated with a few drops of water, is strong enough to power small-scale electronics.

Kissing

The origin of cold sores was just discovered. Scientists linked the causal herpes strain to kissing during mass migrations of populations from Eurasia to Europe 5,000 years ago.

Ocean Find

Sea explorers came across a series of evenly-spaced holes 1.7 miles deep into the Mid-Atlantic sea floor. Human involvement is incredibly unlikely, but their origin is a mystery.

POTUS COVID

President Biden tested positive for COVID-19 a second time, in what’s been described as a “rebound” infection. He’s experiencing a loose cough and is isolating for others’ safety.

Time

June 29th was the Earth's shortest day on record thanks to a wobble in its axis. This allowed the planet to complete a single spin in a fraction of a second short of 24 hours.

🛠️

HACK OF THE WEEK

Fast-acting sales pitch repellent

image: thenewswheel

We’ve all been there. An aggressive salesperson goes for the jugular as you stroll through the mall (or wherever), and you're not sure what to do. You need an exit strategy.

Many folks have a hard time saying "no" in these situations. They'll listen to an entire 10 minute pitch just to be polite. If you're in this camp, we have a hack for you.

After the salesperson delivers his/her opening line, simply say, “I work for your competitor, I’m sorry. Good luck!” and keep walking. For maximum effect, cite a specific competitor. If it's a Verizon guy, tell him you work for AT&T.

There's literally no possible comeback. Checkmate.

🚿

SHOWER THOUGHTS

Thermometers are speedometers for atoms.
Social anxiety is basically conspiracy theories about yourself.
The larger the download button, the less safe it seems.
If a sloth were to clap, it would always sound sarcastic.
You could throw a rock into a lake and be the last person to ever touch that rock until the end of time.